Romantic relationships involve a level of intimacy between two individuals. The term “romance” implies love, desires and a certain level of an attachment. It is indeed an interpersonal relationship that can become physically pleasurable.
Usually, however, when one envisions two individuals involved in a romantic relationship, two adults enter into that image, not teens. So one might ask, should teenagers engage in romantic relationships prior to the age of 18? My argument is that romantic relationships are not meant for teenagers since it can impair their identity, mar their sense of security and increase their hormonal drive.
For further explanation, read the parenting tips below.
Teens Need to Develop Their Own Identities
In today’s society, teenagers face such pressures as drugs, sex, dating and getting involved in relationships. Today more teens are dating either casually or with steady partners. For parents, casual dating is not as disconcerting as steady dating, especially one that involves romance. The desire to have a romantic partner is a part of adolescence. However, involvement during the preteen or teen years can create numerous problems.
One problem is that true romantic relationships involve intimacy. Many theorists believe that before a teenager becomes intertwined in someone else’s life, she should first develop her own identity. According to the psychologist Erik Erickson, teenagers struggle to form a sense of identity. An identity crisis occurs when you can not determine who you are or what role you should play. In other words, the teenager must find her own identify before sharing it with someone else.
Slow Down the Increase in Hormones
A second concern is that there exists an increase in hormone development during the pre-teen/teenage years. This increase can cause an increase in sex hormones during the puberty years, which influences romantic feelings. Once again, for parents of teenagers with raging hormones, a romantic relationship can lead to the next adult step – sex.
Adolescents are Still Developing Their Sense of Security
A final reason preteens or teenagers should not engage in romance is that these kids are still developing their sense of security. This is first initiated by parents. However, it can also be influenced by teens involved in romantic relationships. Naturally with teens, romantic relationships end, which can hamper their sense of security and hurt their self-esteem. This can also hinder future relationships when those teens become adults.
Overall, teenagers should be teenagers and not involved in romantic relationships. A romantic relationship can hurt their identity development, influence their sexual drive and damage their sense of security. Parents should talk to their children about not engaging in romantic relationships.
Source:
Cherry, Kendra. Identity Crisis - Theory and Research. About.com (Retrieved on 11/7/2010).
Tasha Kelley - By day, I am employed as a school psychologist who works with and assesses children with special needs. I have been blessed with a ...
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